San Francisco Wants to Ban Pet Ownership

Fresh from its triumphant victory against the perfidious, imperialist forces of McDonald’s Happy Meal toys, the San Francisco Board of Supervisors has set its sights on nobler pursuits like banning circumcision, and ending the ignominious institution of pet slavery.

That’s right you anthropomorphic bigots, the City by the Bay is currently contemplating banning the sale of all animals ranging from goldfish to Great Danes, thank you very much.

Did I ever mention that the concussive blast rendered by an M1A1 round’s sabot petals killed a deer, because Bambi ventured within 100 meters of my 120mm main gun during gunnery training?

Oops, did I just say that out loud?

The Orwellian-sounding “Humane Pet Acquisition Proposal” is heading to the “sagacious” San Francisco Board of Supervisors. There, the elected body can ignore a $750 million budget deficit, in search of fiercer dragons to slay like vanquishing Happy Meal toys and breaking the chattels of animal slavery.

About Sean Patrick Hazlett

Finance executive, engineer, former military officer, and science fiction and horror writer. Editor of the Weird World War III anthology.
This entry was posted in Business, California, Crime, Media, Policy, Politics and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to San Francisco Wants to Ban Pet Ownership

  1. Vern R. Kaine says:

    Wow. Is there a serious lack of oxygen going to the brain in that city or are they just so high all the time they continue to see their Utopia as reality?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.