Fresh from its triumphant victory against the perfidious, imperialist forces of McDonald’s Happy Meal toys, the San Francisco Board of Supervisors has set its sights on nobler pursuits like banning circumcision, and ending the ignominious institution of pet slavery.
That’s right you anthropomorphic bigots, the City by the Bay is currently contemplating banning the sale of all animals ranging from goldfish to Great Danes, thank you very much.
Did I ever mention that the concussive blast rendered by an M1A1 round’s sabot petals killed a deer, because Bambi ventured within 100 meters of my 120mm main gun during gunnery training?
Oops, did I just say that out loud?
The Orwellian-sounding “Humane Pet Acquisition Proposal” is heading to the “sagacious” San Francisco Board of Supervisors. There, the elected body can ignore a $750 million budget deficit, in search of fiercer dragons to slay like vanquishing Happy Meal toys and breaking the chattels of animal slavery.
Reflections of a Rational Republican 
Wow. Is there a serious lack of oxygen going to the brain in that city or are they just so high all the time they continue to see their Utopia as reality?
There must be something in the water…